Frank Blau
Contributing Writer
ShuBee®
“What’s a slug?” one of my industry friends asked me not long ago. For those who don’t know, a slug is a type of snail. Snails are slow and primitive, so I used the term to describe people in our industry who fit that description. Most people regard snails/slugs as loathsome creatures – except for French chefs, who call them escargot and prepare them smothered in butter.
The fact that some people in our industry didn’t know what a slug is leads me to believe that they may not be able to identify the PHC industry version either. So I have prepared a little quiz to test your powers of perception. Answers and scoring are at the end of the article.
Frank Blau’s Slug Quiz
1) If direct job costs are $1,000, your overhead is 15{938cd9e8dae860e800efc538277d4f7684e6f6981618ba70d1c34357a53c2e1f} of sales and you wish to make a net profit of 10{938cd9e8dae860e800efc538277d4f7684e6f6981618ba70d1c34357a53c2e1f} of sales, how much would you have to sell the job for?
- $1,333
- $1,286
- $1,250
- Huh?
2) Do you know your dollar-per-billable-hour overhead factor?
- Yes.
- Approximately.
- No.
- Huh?
3) A reasonable net profit is…
- 20{938cd9e8dae860e800efc538277d4f7684e6f6981618ba70d1c34357a53c2e1f} and up.
- 5-10{938cd9e8dae860e800efc538277d4f7684e6f6981618ba70d1c34357a53c2e1f}.
- What everyone else makes.
- What’s “profit”?
4) The industry’s biggest problem is…
- Contractors who price their services below cost.
- Home Depot.
- Columnists who remind me of my ignorance.
- Contractors who charge too much.
5) How much do you pay your employees?
- More than anyone else in town.
- The going rate.
- Below average.
- As little as possible.
6) Flat rate pricing is…
- A way to get prices in line with value.
- Opposite of rock bottom prices.
- Not time & material.
- A greedy rip-off.
7) Customers are…
- To be pampered.
- Money machines.
- A pain in the rear.
- I lost all of mine.
8) Business education is…
- Essential.
- Be nice to have.
- Too costly and time consuming.
- Unnecessary. I already know everything there is to know.
9) Who do you rely upon to pay for your business education?
- My customers.
- Myself.
- The manufacturers.
- The government.
10) I spend most of my time…
- On management and marketing activities.
- Working with the tools.
- Fixing my mistakes.
- Blaming others for my mistakes.
11) I read the trade magazines…
- From cover to cover
- To look at the new products.
- When I’m on the john.
- No time to read.
12) A P&L is…
- A critical snapshot of business conditions.
- A computer report.
- A bunch of numbers that I don’t understand.
- Letters of the alphabet.
13) How do you determine what prices to charge?
- Figure my costs and overhead, then add my profit goal.
- Find out what my competitors are charging and charge a little more.
- Find out what my competitors are and charge a little less.
- Consult an astrologer.
14) How much should a PHC business owner get paid?
- $100,000 and up.
- Industry average.
- Whatever’s left over.
- No more than my daddy made.
15) My employees are…
- My most valuable assets.
- People who work for me.
- The cause of most of my grief.
- Always quitting on me.
16) Selling is…
- The essence of business.
- Something I ought to do more of.
- Something I hate to do.
- Immoral.
17) How do you decide which products to sell?
- Best value, highest profit margins.
- Whatever’s on sale.
- Whatever’s easiest to install.
- Whatever’s cheap, white and chrome.
18) How much should a contractor pay a spouse who works in the business?
- Market value or above for comparable professionals.
- Whatever’s affordable.
- A token amount.
- Slave Wages. That’s what spouses are for.
19) Do you have a dress code for service techs?
- Mandatory uniforms, clean and pressed.
- No nose rings.
- No policy.
- Mandatory display of butt cracks.
20) How often do you pay your suppliers?
- Take all discounts.
- Within 90 days.
- When I get some extra cash.
- When there’s a gun to my head.
21) Who are your role models in business?
- Contractors who make a lot of money.
- Contractors who manage to stay in business.
- Anyone who does better than me.
- Guys who go broke subsidizing their customers.
22) How will you support yourself in retirement?
- Pension plan, other investments.
- Social Security.
- Hope to make a killing selling my lousy business.
- Plan to work the rest of my life.
23) What is your favorite magazine?
- Plumbing & Mechanical.
- Brand X.
- Playboy.
- Comic books.
24) How do you respond when people ask what you do for a living?
- “I’m a business person/contractor.”
- “I’m a craftsman.”
- “I’m a plumber.”
- “I’m just a plumber.”
25) Would you like your children to carry on your business?
- Absolutely.
- Maybe.
- Hell no, I want them to go to college and get a good job.
- The last thing they want to do is work in my crummy business.
Slug Scale: Scoring is simple. Give yourself 10 points for every 1. response, 3 points for every 2. response. 1 point for every 3. (just for being honest), and 0 points for every 4. Add them up and find out where you rank on the Frank Blau Slug Scale, as follows:
200-250 – You leave the slugs far behind and soar with eagles!
150-199 – You’re a bit behind the times but show signs of evolving to a higher state of existence.
100-149 – You have one of the most progressive minds of the 19th Century.
0-99 – Better stay away from French restaurants!