The Feather or the Brick?

Motivation is what causes us to take action.  What motivates you is different from anyone else, though there are some commonalities. You can’t make someone learn.  When the student is ready, the teacher appears.  And if the student isn’t ready, well, the teacher may hit a brick wall.

This applies to you, too.  Sometimes the reward is so enticing you’ll do anything to get it.  Bring on the feather.   Sometimes the pain gets so great you will do anything to make it stop.  Be grateful for the brick.

“The Upside of Fear”

After being convicted of armed robbery, Weldon “Wally” Long spent 12 years in prison.  Wally had access to education, counselors, programs and services that would help him get clean and productive and transition out of the system when he wrapped his sentence.  When he was released on probation, he rejected all offered help.  He continued to drink and use drugs.  He committed increasingly violent crimes.  He blamed everyone else for his sad, sorry life.  In spite of multiple “lucky” breaks, he worked his way back to prison.

One lonely night in his cell, Wally had a moment of epiphany.  He realized that everything that he feared had come to pass. He was afraid of becoming addicted and he became an alcoholic/addict.  He was afraid of getting arrested and convicted and he wound up in prison.  He was afraid of being a poor parent and he abandoned his young son.  He decided that he would focus on his hopes instead of his fears.  Today, Wally is a free man and a successful HVAC contractor in Colorado.  He’s a speaker and trainer, sharing his message of hope and positive thinking and action.  Best of all, he has a wife he loves and his son now lives with them.

Perhaps Wally needed the brick of prison, the threat of a lifetime behind bars.  The feather didn’t seem to have an effect on him.  He had his share of great opportunities and he squandered them.  When he was ready for things to be different, everything changed.  He started to act with integrity and honor.  He read books filled with positive messages…by Wayne Dyer, Stephen Covey, Anthony Robbins, Dale Carnegie…and tuned into what he wanted, not what he didn’t want.  Once he changed, everything changed for him.

Thick as a…

Throughout my life, I’ve had many great mentors.  Some taught with metaphor.  Some encouraged me with praise.  Some shared their failures, as cautionary tales.  Feathers.

A few lobbed bricks.  When I was 23, I got fired from a job I loved because I pushed the fence and my boss made an example of me.  It was the best thing that could’ve happened to me.  A year later, I went back, hat in hand, and applied for the job again.  I got it and became a star performer.

I seem to need a brick now and then.  And I am happy to use one with my clients.  However, sometimes I’m better served to wield a feather.  What about you? What motivates you and causes you to change and engage in new action?  What moves your employees to learn a new and better way?  What can you do to help others improve their skills, their performance, and their lives?

Feather or brick?  If one doesn’t work, try the other.